Who's Studlier, Bill or Chuck? You Decide.

Bill Brasky:
He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!
His poop is used as currency in Argentina.
He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!
They use Brasky's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Comiskey Park.

Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris didn't start the fire, but now he kind of wishes he had.
Chuck Norris uses his forehead as a flyswatter... and he has never missed.
Chuck Norris is a sensitive soul who writes beautiful poetry under a femalepseudonym. But if he ever catches you reading it, he'll kick your pansy ass.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.